Unnecessary
On board an american aircraft carrier there came an annoncement over the ships loadspeaker one sunday morning: ”In five minuts there will be a service in the officers mess. All unnecessary work must ble stopped at once”.
One our later there came a new annoncement over the loadspeaker: ”The service is now finished. All unnecessary work can now continue”.
 

A friend
A young pastor had very high ambitions according to his personal career. As soon as he had got a job as a pastor in one church, he started to apply for what he considered to be a even  better job. Very soon he got such a job and at the service one Sunday he should tell the congregation about the new job.
The young pastor wanted to hide his personal ambitions and told the congregation that it was Jesus who had called him to go to the new church and leave them. Then the whole congregation simultanously raised to there feet, spontanously singing the psalm: What a friend we have in Jesus.
 

School life
A little girl was talking with her teacher about whales. The teacher said that it was physical impossiple for a whale to swallow a human being, because even if it was an enourmous animal, its throat was very narrow. The girl then told the teacher thar Jonah was swallowed by a whale. A little irritated the teacher repeated that it was physical impossible for a whale to swallow a man. Than the girl said: I will ask Jonah whem I come to heaven.
What if Jonah will come to hell, asked the teacher.
In that case, said the girl, you can ask him.